My Polluted Mind: British Foods

My Polluted Mind Speaking: Reading into Writing

As I was reading a local news paper of the cordillera region {zigzag} I went to my favrite section where a foreign (american) writer Jim Ward {Stranger in a Strangeland} put his writings weekly on this certain page. Long before I read zigzag, I never knew that Jim Ward and his wife Shanti run Bliss Cafe in Baguio City. Bliss Cafe is one of my favrite cafe spots in Baguio City. It is a vegetarian cafe with art space center and also community center. His articles are mainly about philosophy but we're not talking about Jim Ward's article on this page. So after I read Jim Ward's article on page 4 I was trying to answer a Cross Word Puzzle on page 5. While I was thinking to answer each box my eyes made a glimpse back on page 4's Word Hunt [just beside Jim Ward's article]. It wasn't the Word Hunt that made me stop from answering Crossword Puzzle. Word Hunt for me is boring coz you just need to find the word and encircle it. Cross Word Puzzle is more challenging to answer.

What made me stop answering Crossword is the Word Hunt's Title: British Foods. Hmmnnn...Sounds interesting so I just read the British Foods without encirling the Word Hunt's Box as I am not interested. As I was reading the British Foods, my polluted mind came in and not wondring what its like to have British Foods on my table....So, I jotty the British Foods then put a dash beside each food. My mental drive just took snap shots about British Foods coz I was thinking a lil fun putting a meaning on each food.....Ever tasted British Foods??? So, here it goes.....

{Just my quoted jokes...okay?Brits, Pls don't get offended}

British Foods and Famejud's Mental Libido:

Banger--> hmmmnnn Sauced Age??? Oooohllahhlahh....Maybe Brit Sausage this is soft??? Isn't it? hehehe (winking)

Bloater--> smoked herring??? {yawns} Isn't that smelly smoked food lil fishy???ummmm, that tickles lil fish.....I wonder if they have tongue's too.....

Bubble & Squeak--> ooohhhhhh---ahhh----oooh---ahhh---ahhhh {whinning)......Bubbles....

ColCannon--> Col??? (drooling) depressed between boobies? hahaha......oh yeah and Here's the Cannon......Boom!!! Boom!!! Boom!!!

Clotted Cream--> Meow...meow..meow....!!!!! Brit Cats love thick Creams.....ummm, Pssssttt!!! Be quiet if you want to taste.......

Crumpets--> Oh, I wasn't knowin that Brits loves grilled small cakes.....hehehe...Howzaat???hahaha...I was thinking about something else but I better shut up....OOOPPS!

Curried Fish--> [raised eyebrow] Wuzaat???Fish Curry????? uhhh...oohhh...No juz take another order.....pls...LOL!

Reform Cutlet--> AAAWWW!!! Big Kitty don't want reformed piece of meat......What you saying??? Oh, ok Big Kitty said; " its overused....Just give it to the shy dog>" ...what??? what is a shy dog anyway??? (imagining) oooohhh that pic is wimpy and gay.....OOOPPSS!

(I have this funny pic saved on my pictures...hehe...he's nt a brit???ooops! I am so sorry!!! Am not saying Americans are gay....okay???Juz this pic! COPY???)

Finnan Haddie--> F***! Am not referring to the dictionary so I don't really know what this means.....besides am lazy to search about this but I will consider it later....Hmmmnnn what is Finnan Haddie???

Flannel Cakes--> Ohhhh, How Soft thy Cake!!! Brit Guys Love it...Wooohoo....(tongue out)

Flummery--> Hold! Baby you reading this??? It's still early for sweet desserts...Wait for the midnight snack...Am still workin on it...OOOPPSSS reserving......

Haggis--> What is this??? Haggis? As in Hag? oh, that's rough....so harsh Bad Brit Gals.....

Lancashire Hot Pot--> okay, I don't know wut Lancashire means so I better shut up......

Junket--> Hush! Baby, don't rush......we gonna go...we gonna go...go to the flow...wine and dine with me to that promised land two heavenly bodies are being one!....oh, i can hear it baby...it's too loud.....hmmnnn, gettin wetty now....

Kedgeree--> You sure this a Brit Food??? hmmmmnnnn...(wondring) (thinking).... This is a fucken Indian Food!.....hehehe....(Eyes wide Open) (Thoughts).......Indians are known for KAMASUTRA..... I never tasted Kedgeree.....LMAO...."thought about indians" but I think Brits loves Kedgeree because of its aroma and the taste maybe is good.....Indian foods are spicy......I know that....hmmnnnnn....Aroma, tasteful feelings? Feelings or fillings???? wait... which is which? As in Kamasutra feelings? or ..... Indian fillings???? LOL.....

Ripper--> I think Brit Gals loves this food muchh.....what you think??? they wanted to be ripped.......hehehe....

Bath Oliver--> OH, OK??? Who's Oliver??? well, don't know about this bathing oliver???hehe...can somebody please tell me?

Cornish Pasty--> Ooohhh, maybe this is for Senior Affairs.....why? dunno why....but i think unshaved old brit corns really are pasty!!!......oooppsss......sorry! Fame, can't you just stop thinking and better sleep!

Poorman's Goose--> So what if he's poor!!!! At least he's happy with his mother goose! Goose is tasty!!!!

Porkin--> Damn Porkins! Brits loves this much???? Pork in the butt???hehehe.....

Punchnep--> Hah! Don't punch me or i'll punch you too!!! So Brits loves punching like twisting???? I really don't know what this means so I am sorry it was a stupid mistake!

Sponge Role--> hehehe....ofcourse this means to clean it up....Silly! Hold! SSSShhhhh...Oh yeah....that's it!.....Clean it up baby....You're so good......(baby, you reading this)?

Salmagundi--> Oh SALMAGUNDI! Oh SALMAGUNDI! Whew!!! Woooosshhh!!!! (not talking) I don't know wut this means so I better shut the fuck up! (Phbbt!!!!) Izzatt a name???

Scones--> Yah, I know baby you love this too...flat, round cake.....stop biting that cake.....Am commanding you!!!am Getting jealous.....

Scotch Egg--> hahaha Scotch Eggs??? Brit Gals loves Scot Drunken Eggs??? LMAO....ROFL.....OOOPPSS, Sorry to Scottish Peeps there....well, I never tasted that yet but Scotch on the Rocks I did......hehehhe.....booozzzzzinnnn....Was drunk and sober the next day!!!!

Sheppherd's Pie--> We're not talking about a German Sheppherd here, right? So what is a Brit's Shephherd's Pie??? Like American Pie???? hahahaha........food food food!!!! Hmmnnn....Where's Stiffler???? Lmao....ever watched american pie???

Brandy Snaps--> Yeah, I think So.....Baby, you're so bad....I just viewed this certain Brandi Snaps.......Bad Cat's.....They needed to be Whipped! Baby, I know not funny.....Am not a T...ok??? T? as in Tea??? nope Silly! T-Bird....or.....Les....EWWW......wutta T on tht Brandi Snaps.....

Sponge Cake--> Sponge again??? But this time it's the cake....You really do love me.....I'll sponge cake you and you'll sponge role me....hehehe....thinking of any better options??? No...Yes??? I think Not....MUAHHH......hehe...ooops....So what's the difference? Still the greedy me isn't it......Don't worry baby you ordered flummery crumpets.....and I know you're not gettin tired of me yet......hmmnnn....

{Oriental Sponge Cake--> natural, soft, milky cheesy} am not chinese...but I love Tofu and still belong to the East.....hehe....

Spotted Dog--> WOOF!!! WOOF!!! WOOF!!! wuzzaaat???? DALMATIAN??? UUhhh...Ohhhh...Brit Gals loves Spotted Dogs??? (Just a question....)

Sprats--> What!!! You Kidding me???? Lil Fish Again??? Oh, Geezzz!!! Stop it.....Big Brat Brit Kitties really loves lil fishes......ohhhh.....yah! I see...Ok..okkk...ok!

Syllabub--> oohhh now I think it's mah turn now.....Baby's soooo drunk now......finishing up with the midnight dessert.....It's mah turn to get drunk with my Baby Buckaroo!!! Now, mah turn from dawn til sunset!!! Sober up Baby.....hehehe...

Tart--> Well, I love real TARTS like peanut tart, strawberry tart, blueberry tart, ube tart, oatmeal with vanilla tart.....etc!!! Yaya......it's not funny Baby, yah know am not a T.....you're so cruel....don't misunderstood about this Tart!.....i was talking about real tarts....ok....no side meanings...and expressions....or I'll kick ur Ass....

Toad in the Hole--> Ok, I give up! Now, I really think that Brit Gals loves lil stuffs.....hehehee....Like herrings, lil herrings and now toads! I think Brit Gals love it coz it's small and have a tickling sensation inside.....hmmnnn...and thats really smelly, fishy, giving an itchy feeling..... But.....how's the filling of herrings or lil herrings and the toads???!!! Just asking??? okay....

Trifle--> That's what I thought! Just a Waste of time.......Get of that lil stuffs Brit gals....

Tweed Kettle--> AHHA! Therefore I conclude! Now, I know why you can't get off from these lil stuffs!!! You really bad hot kettles really don't mind ur coarsed and woolen skins....Now, I don't wonder...why Brit Cornish pasty Buckaroos are just getting more Pasty!!!! I thought, DOWS are for DOMS but I was wrong......Correct, me if i am wrong......okay....I will listen....hehe....

180907

2000hrs

Purok 4, Bul. Kal.

written by: Julieva Famejud