REVELATIONS: September Blues

"As im scanning my Diary I haven't realized that I wrote this...."


How i wish our tale is over...for 5 yrs....i don't wanna think about bad realities coz i always wanted to be an optimistic person. But why do i feel this way? I thought that this should be over by now. I have forgiven you and the rest with my counteract problems with my mom. I thought of such a good way juz to free myself from all of these. My own solutions aren't workin. I felt i'm stucked inside a tomb.

Why do you want me to stay in the darkness? Why do you want to keep me for all these years? I do hoped that I'm nobody's fool but you always linger around...You like to keep me in a cell where in you have a private line to call whenever you want to call me...Meet me when ever and where ever you want to meet me. It just seemed that you owned me without the knowledge or blesings of the people around me who cares for me, who also loves me...whom I stayed for all my life!!!

If you really do love me why are you scared to show me to the world we're in??? Why not tell the world that this is ME, the only girl I want to be with for life? Why cant you tell them that you needed me, that you love me that much and that no one else can make you happy but me? --that's what i've heard from you...but did you ever try to tell or whisper that to the world?
If you really want me in your life then fight for me!!! I cant do that alone! coz i needed you to help me get through with what you really want in life...Your decision is just a matter of choice if you want me to stay or not to stay in your life...Coz you know what???--> I felt abused by letting me that i'm always in a hanging situation when it comes to you...

Am i not that faithful enough to you? Aren't you proud of me? Are you ashame to show me in the bright light? Are you happy locking me up in the dark room for all these years? Am i not worthy enough to be respected as a woman who truly loves you! Why cant you juz tell me the truth??? Dont linger around....they knew it all the while....i was faithful enough to you but it seems you didnt give a merit on that...i gave you chances....forgiveness and less for now Im sorry to tell you but you're such a bully...a coward in its pants...

Im hurt, as always be...since you never fight for me as what i have fought for you...I did my part which i thought it's worhty to fight for you. I was wrong, You never let me see and feel that you can fight for me coz you didn't do it...Im always in a reckless situation with you..Im hurt, I have so much pain...I think and i felt that i gave my very best....but maybe my best isnt good enough for you.....at this time I thought of you alot....with all the sacrifices and my love for you....I'm setting you free my dearest one....

sincerely,
Famejud




Written BY: Julieva Famejud
September 28 2004
Cascades, Tabuk - Kalinga
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Post Script:

WHOAAAA!!!! when i wrote this, i never knew that I am preggy with my so called beloved "EX" at that moment!!!! I was setting him free but I have his seed on me!!!....It's good I have moved ON!!! hahaha........--> Famejud